At the tender age of 14, I was publicly groped in a school hallway by a boy my age. The more I resisted, the more he forced himself on me while he and his friends humiliated me, calling me a “tease”. When I was 16, I snuck a boyfriend into my house while my parents weren’t home. I very painfully lost my virginity that afternoon with tears in my eyes, succumbing to his brute strength, the throbbing pain and my shame. Countless nights I cried myself to sleep, blaming myself for what happened. After I stopped seeing him, he harassed me at my job, calling me a slut, telling me that he’s had better. The name calling continued for years and years by boys and girls, men and women, chipping away at my self worth and dignity, giving into their judgment. I have been cat-called and groped by strangers on the street and in parties. I was solicited for sexual favors during one of my very first job interviews. When I freelanced, one of my clients persistently harassed me asking me about “Asian p*ssy” but I continued to work with him because at 20, I had accepted this as the norm and had grown numb to sexual harassment. One night I worked late and hitched a ride home and was sexually assaulted. Fearing for my life, I screamed and went ape shit and was lucky to be left out on the street. The list, the trauma, the shame goes on and on and for years I blamed myself... for wearing that dress, for inviting him over, for getting drunk at that party, for continuing to work for that POS, for getting into a car with a stranger... and some of you, sadly, might even still blame me (fuck you). So yeah, #metoo. And as I bare my soul, I recognize our common humanity and that we are not alone in our struggles and I hope you do, too (and it is absolutely NOT your fault). I am not seeking pity. I just want everyone to understand how early this starts and how it can impact how we view ourselves and our relationships with others. When we dismiss this behavior (boys will be boys, she asked for it, etc.) we are complicit and we send the message that this is ok. This hurts our women, this hurts our men; this hurts our whole culture. We have to do better.